On Friendship, Irritation and Life!

It’s a bliss to be surrounded by people whom you love.

How irritating would it be to get messages all day long (why wouldn’t the other person just stop texting?) and then all of a sudden someone (whom you might have studied with) calls you, goes on to speak for an hour – on various matters that you are least interested in and somehow at some point of time you run out of topic, you expect a halt, but your friend would never stop, adds a couple of his other friends to the line, speaks for yet another hour on what the ruling party has done to the country – ah, a classic topic to discuss!!

Irritated? I’ve never felt so lively before.

Although it may sound childish, to have someone to irritate you is truly a bliss. Perhaps, we secretly enjoy being annoyed. We often spend hours speaking nonsense (be it the purpose of life, views on simulation hypothesis or whatever. Who really cares?). The company of a lunatic with whom you could discuss all your crazy but pertinent ideas seem satisfactory.

There should be someone with whom you could share your joy and pain. Do find a like-minded person who would be happy to listen to you and would guide you in your path. In fact, Captain Walton – a character in Mary Shelley’s famous novel, Frankenstein, was desperate for a friend who would enlighten him. He was tired of being in the company of ordinary men – who always obeyed his commands. Walton once wrote to his sister:

“I have no friend, Margaret: when I am glowing with the enthusiasm of success, there will be none to participate my joy; if I am assailed by disappointment, no one will endeavour to sustain me in dejection. I shall commit my thoughts to paper, it is true; but that is a poor medium for the communication of feeling. I desire the company of a man who could sympathize with me, whose eyes would reply to mine… gentle yet courageous, possessed of a cultivated as well as of a capacious mind, whose tastes are like my own, to approve or amend my plans.”

The above quote is quite depressing. No doubt, to be alone is painful and it is true that dejection would only do harm. Perhaps, let’s talk about loneliness later. I want to draw your attention to something else. Didn’t you notice that the loneliness experienced by Walton is his own creation? This opens up a lot of questions on human behaviour.

Aren’t we really selective while forming relationships? Has friendship got something to do with intellect? What could have made Walton think so? He could have made several friends but he deliberately stayed away from them hoping that he would meet his ‘second self’ someday (He finally did, but that’s another story!). Maybe, he should have faced the reality.

Marcus Aurelius, a stoic philosopher once said: “Adapt yourself to the life you have been given; and truly love the people with whom destiny has surrounded you”

Emotions are hard to explain. So is friendship. Hence it would be impossible to arrive at some conclusions. In fact, life seems paradoxical and it is true that a lot of things don’t make any sense. However, it is worth noting that man has this unique ability to overcomplicate things and we often fail to see a simpler version of life.

Hmm, I ramble a lot but somehow I like this style. I am about to conclude. As I was saying, everything is a matter of one’s perspective. Maybe, friendship is not all about finding your replica, it’s more about finding someone who would teach you innocent lessons of life – lessons of happiness, sorrow (and irritation!). It doesn’t matter how small the lesson is you would certainly learn something new.